Spring & Summer1960

When I arrived home from Ann's house I was totally surprised that my Dad didn't get on my case about being late. A few days later however, he casually said to me that the car wasn't driving just right and did I know anything about it. I said no and he just let it go. Oh, if I had only realized how gracious my Dad was being! Senior week at our high school was the following week from the gas station incident. All seniors got a lot of privileges during that time. One afternoon I was sitting in my shorthand class when Jim Brackett came into the classroom. All the girls perked up when they saw him! ( during those days, he looked a lot like Ricky Nelson a rock & roll singer popular at that time! As you can see from a previous post, I liked Ricky Nelson!) He said to my shorthand teacher that he needed a secretary to take some dictation. She complied and told him to pick whoever he wanted. He looked us over and his eyes landed on me! He must have recognized me from the gas station and said that he would take me. WOW! Can you imagine how excited this girl was!? Well just go back for a moment in time and hear her heart thumping? That day was the beginning of our young love. We went over to one of the biology labs and he very formally said he wanted me to take a letter to a former girlfriend! I didn't care who it was to. All I knew was in that moment I was in a state of shock and just thrilled to be where I was, doing what he was asking me to do. This teenage girl fell in love on the day she met; this personable, cute guy. Sounds crazy, I know but it's true. We started dating almost immediately. Actually, the dates consisted of driving me home from school, going to the movies, going down to the Point which was a beach where a lot of kids hung out. There was another young man I had started going with who had just given me a friendship ring a few days before. I felt really terrible about having accepted his ring. Being the honorable young man that he was, Jim took the ring back for me and explained the situation to this other guy. I didn't have enough nerve to face him. I did feel bad, but my feelings for this guy named Jim were very strong. The first big date we had was to the senior class picnic. It was here that I was acknowledged as Jim's girl and for the next 6-8 weeks we dated steadily and frequently. In July of that year I had to go with my parents to Ocean City Md for our family vacation. I didn't want to leave my new boyfriend for a whole week. ( I was afraid he might meet another girl) He was invited to join my family for the next weekend but I was still insecure. On Friday afternoon I was on the front porch of the rental house anxiously waiting to see if he would really show up. And, yes he did! He has since told me that he spent the whole week getting his car all spiffed up just to come see me and that he wouldn't have missed it for the world. Oh! what needless worry; God is still teaching me to think on what is TRUE. It was true that Jim loved me and much more than I ever realized. I still had my part-time job at the bakeshop and he had one at Towers Dept. store in the shoe dept. One evening at a drive in theater in Lake Shore MD Jim told me of his desire to live the rest of his life with me. So when asked if I would marry him I answered yes I would. As with everything else in my life, I never gave it a second thought. I was living for the moment and didn't think about what lie ahead. The pledge was given and received and the plans were formulated to accomplish a secret wedding ceremony. We knew neither one of our parents would agree to us marrying so young and especially me not having finished high school yet. This is why we decided to keep all of this a secret till after I finished school. Then we planned to tell our parents.

The Year Was 1960!

In November of 1959 I turned 17 years old. I was in the 11th grade at Brooklyn Park High School taking what was then called "The Commercial" course. The courses were geared to preparing me for an office job. Typing, shorthand, bookeeping plus the other required subjects like English, history, science and gym were what my studies consisted . Not really having any definite plans as to what I wanted to do after high school I took this course of study with the idea in mind of working as a stenographer or secretary after graduation. My parents never discussed going to college with me, but later on they said they had wanted me to go to Hood college to finish out my education. Perhaps they wanted me to become a teacher. I'll never know for sure. I was a pretty good student with A,B grades and maybe a C or two. I often wonder how kids at that age know for sure what they want to do with their lives and make their educational choices wisely! All I know is at that time in the history of my life I didn't really have a clue. (but God did and He allowed me to grow up at my own pace) Being a young teenage girl, wrapped up in herself and desiring to be popular I pretty much went along with my peers and what they were up to. At this point in time I was becoming rebelliously independent and disrespectful to my parents. I wanted to smoke cigarettes so I badgered my parents till they said ok. After all, they had given my younger brother Bucky permission so why couldn't I? One of the interests I had in high school was belonging to the Civil Air Patrol. Our unit met at the fire hall in Riviera Beach once a week. I don't remember how I got involved in this but I enjoyed wearing the uniform and going to meets where we marched. At our home station we would practice marching and listen to talks about CAP. I met a lot of different people through this organization. I believe I was only involved for about 1-1/2 years. For some unknown reason I've always liked uniforms and the discipline of the military. I went to lots of dances and parties with girlfriends and as I got older I began to have a few boyfriends. Mostly, I just wanted to go out and not sit at home on a Friday or Saturday night. I must admit I used a couple of guys who had cars just to go somewhere. One night in the spring of 1960 I was to take a girlfriend home from my house but instead of doing that she encouraged me to drive down to Glen Burnie to a gas station where some of the guys hung out! So, that is exactly what I did! She was right, there were a group of guys there that she knew. They were all seniors and some were pretty popular. One of those guys came over to my window where I was seated behind the wheel and wanted to know if he could drive my car. It was my Dad's '55 Pontiac 3 speed stick shift. I didn't give it a second thought as I got out and gave him the wheel! His name was Jim and he took the car for a ride around the block. Little did I know that he burned a few thousand miles off the tires before returning. We stayed for a while then I realized that my Dad would be expecting me home by now. We left the station and I drove her back to her house in Brooklyn. Then I drove home with a story as to why I was late. ( to be continued)

The Year Was 1958

In Nov.of 1958 I turned 16! Back in those days you had to be 16 before you got your learner's permit so on my birthday I got my permit.My mother took on the job of teaching me to drive. She was an excellent driver herself so I was in good hands. The car I learned to drive on was a 1955 Pontiac. It was a big old car compared to today's standards; a 3 speed stick shift on the column. So,knowing what that meant,I had to learn how and when to push in the clutch and shift gears smoothly. Mom was a good teacher with lots of patience but one time she nearly lost it! We were coming home from somewhere and I was getting ready to turn the corner when Mom said to use the brake. But mistakenly I stepped on the gas and we flew around that turn! She was a little upset to say the least. She taught me to parallel park out on the street where we lived. I studied the instruction manual and the day arrived for me to take my driver's test. This was no easy task like it is today! We drove into Baltimore City to the DMV where the tests were given. I passed my written exam and eye test with no problems. Then a State trooper got in the passenger side of my car and told me to drive to the corner and make a right turn. We had no blinker's in the cars back then so I had to open my window ahead of time and stick out my arm to make a right hand signal while also coming to a stop! We went around a city block with traffic and when we reached the point where we had started he got out and told me to park the car! Oh! boy! Now the real test of my driving skill was about to be tested. There were 2 posts out on the street that I was to maneuver my car between without knocking them over. If you did it was an automatic failure. The first time I backed up I tapped the pole lightly and it rocked a bit but it didn't fall down. Oh, I was so nervous but I immediately pulled forward and tried again and the second time I parked it perfectly. He passed me with a smile! On the way home I felt so happy and begged my mother to let me take the car to school for the rest of the day. Believe it or not, she did. I cannot describe how wonderful it felt to drive for the first time by myself. There was a wonderful sense of freedom that I experienced that day as I proudly drove into the school parking lot. Of course, all my friends wanted me to drive them home after school and I did drive some of them. The trust that my parents placed in me in allowing me drive the family car was awesome. As I look back over the years (50 now)I believe I've honored the trust that was given me by having an excellent, safe driving record. I've had only 1 ticket and that was dismissed by a judge plus I was in a head on collision that was not my fault. A truck driver crossed over a double yellow line and hit me head on. I had to go the hospital in an ambulance as a result and sustained a fractured sternum, a head bump and some stomach bruises. All in all I still consider myself a good driver. We were a one car family and yet my parents allowed me to take the car to school from time to time. This entailed my Mom taking my Dad to work and then getting back in time for me to take the car to school. All my friends got the benefit of me driving them home on those days. In fact, I don't remember any of them driving to school in their family's car. I guess I was blessed in so many ways back then and didn't even realize it!

On Being A Teen In The 50's & 60's!

Life was hopping and jitterbugging was the rage! Elvis was the hearthrob of the day as well as Pat Boone and Ricky Nelson. We danced to "At The Hop" by Danny and the Juniors and sooo many other great songs. I still love all of those great 50's hits! High school was a great place to meet new friends and have opportunities to experience life in a broader sense. The school I attended was a good distance from my home therefore, I was able to meet new kids from an area differing from mine. I was 14 when I started high school and in the ninth grade. Up until this time in my life, I was a pretty spoiled young lady! I was a tall and slender brunette (only 113 lbs.) and the oldest and only girl in my family of 3 brothers. We lived in a good neighborhood and our house was one of those 50's type cottages on a street with others of the same style. My Dad held a good job at Westinghouse and my Mom was a stay at home mother. (although she did work sometimes outside the home.) My Grandmother lived with us for as long as I can remember, but in 1958 she passed away. I guess it was because I never knew anything different, I just thought that was how most people lived. I say that I was spoiled because as a young girl and now a young lady, I was never required to help with any of the household chores. Oh yes, I can remember helping to dry dishes from time to time especially on Thanksgiving and Christmas and ocassionally helping with the wash but other than that I was carefree. My Grandmother and Mom did all the housework and cooking. Occasionally, I did pitch in but I would rather be outside. I liked to help my Dad chop wood for the fireplace though! In my neighborhood I came to know about a dozen kids who were around my age and we formed a unique clique and called ourselves the "dirty dozen". Being around 14 & 15 yrs. of age we hung out. We walked to the local drugstore to buy records and drink cokes and then walk back home. We went to movies on Saturday's together and rode the bus from Linthicum to Glen Burnie. Oh what freedom we thought we had as we got away from parental supervision for a few hours. Actually, we never caused any kind of problem and never did anything illegal. We were just kids growing up. We also enjoyed playing baseball out in the street in front of my house and then when we had a snowstorm and were off from school we all went sledding together. It was kind of romantic on these winter outings as one of the kids in our gang was born the day after me (and in the same hospital) {I thought that was soo cool and that we were destined for each other} and he was tall and looked like Ricky Nelson. I had a crush on him! When I was around 15 yrs. old, I got my first job at Keller's Bake Shop. I worked Saturday's and some Sunday afternoon's selling baked goods and cleaning blackened bake pans for .50 an hour. I remember the first year I had my new job that I wanted to give my Mom a special gift for Christmas so, I went into Glen Burnie to a jewelry shop and purchased her a really nice watch on time. Each week I went there to make a payment on my lay/away until it was paid for and it was such a pleasure to give her this gift when I had finally paid it off. Back then, I was not allowed to bring it home till I had made good on my promise to pay.

The first day of high school I found mysef in my new homeroom class with Mr. Baker my Civics and homeroom teacher. He was an older gentleman, nice but not too exciting. As I looked around the room, I didn't see anyone that I knew. Then the girl sitting next to me introduced herself as we left class and we walked together to the next room. (and for the next 4 yrs.!) Her name was Marge Kessler and she is still my friend today! ( to be continued)

at friend's house on a Sat. night

My Dad's '55 Pontiac Learning to back out!

Final Chapter

The early years of the 80's were times of healing and growing. Our oldest son Jim had been a senior in high school when Sharon was injured. Her accident affected him greatly. I believe he felt guilty because he hadn't picked her up from school on that February day. Looking back I wish I had been more sensitive to his feelings and how his sister's condition had touched him. Kellee was away at Geneva College and she had received news through a memo on the bulletin board that her brother had called. Their thoughts are recorded, {I believe on their blogs} if you care to read how the news of Sharon's accident affected them. Our family consisted of 4 children, grandparents, aunts and uncles and cousins. We cared about each other and this accident touched everyone in different ways. So many people reached out to us through prayer, acts of kindness, food, babysitting, phone calls and gifts. During the middle of the 80's, our 2 oldest children were married. Kellee met her husband Kirk while teaching school in Haiti and Jim met Val while at Geneva College. Our first and second grandchildren were born in short order in 1986 & 87. In 1987, Sharon met John Schwab while we attended Faith Bible Church. John showed an interest in Sharon by asking us if he could take her to some concerts at Washington Bible College. Of course we said that she could go with him as we knew him to be a good man and we thought that Sharon would love to get out. This became a regular occurance. Sometimes, John would take her out to eat, other times to various functions around town. As time went on we began to see that Sharon seemed to really like John and we wondered if John was just being kind to her or was there something else going on? So, we did the natural thing and asked John what were his intentions? We didn't want our daughter to be emotionally hurt if what she was feeling was not reciprocated. I hope John didn't mind us being so forward but we had to protect Sharon!! John reassured us that he also felt something more that just a friendship for Sharon. A few months later John asked us if he could marry Sharon!! They were married the end of April 1988 and this past year they celebrated 20 years of marriage. There is much more to the story of how Sharon's life has played out but then, everyone who knows the Lord has a story of how God has led them all the way. I want to say "Thank you Lord for your mercy and grace to myself, Sharon and the rest of the family." Without God's sustaining grace despair would have overcome me. "I would have despaired unless I had believed that I would see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living." (Psalms) I hope you have enjoyed reading about this journey of faith. God has a way of bringing His children to maturity and praise His name, He is not finished yet! Here are a few pictures of the girl in the story. The first one is with her sister and Dad on Kellee's "senior" day at high school. The month is May 1979! Sharon is on the right:>)

8 months before Sharon'saccident

Here comes the bride!

Mr. & Mrs. John Schwab

Everyone is so happy for Sharon

Years later at home in Gaithersburg!

Next to Last Segment

Today, I would like to continue my account of how my daughter's accident has affected my life. Sharon began making progress as she slowly emerged from the coma. One of the first areas to return was her ability to speak. She began with complete sentences; but each word was repeated twice. "I I love love you you." Never having traveled down this road before we didn't know what to make of this. We were assured that it was all part of the process. During the time that Sharon was in the Carter Center our five year old son Ben was very sick for a few weeks with inner ear infections and needed surgery for tubes to be put in. He ran a high fever for a few days after the surgery then he finally began to improve. We had to juggle our visits to see Sharon during this time. One early blessing that we received was our daughter praising God as she listened to a Christian music tape. She was physically only half the person that she was before but yet here she was praising God in song and with her "words". We were allowed to take her outside the WPC center for brief visits in her wheelchair. She had not progressed to walking yet. I'm sure she enjoyed getting out of the hospital environment and into some fresh air. A few weeks later we were told that we could take her home. She still had a lot of spasticity in her arm and feet. As she rode home in the car, she kept flipping down the sun visor to look at herself. She was not herself by any means but she was holding promise for much improvement. Her home care involved many people coming and going. Occupational, physical and speech therapists and teachers were common sights at our house. Sharon had to re-learn so many basics. Crawling, walking, speaking, toilet training and controlling her emotions; all these things were major accomplishments. It's amazing that she knew who we were and who she was. I had a friend who was a nurse who came over one day to help me give Sharon a tub bath. What a blessing she was! As the swelling receded in the brain we experienced lots of ups and downs during the next few months. Some of her friends came by initially but as time went on and they saw that she was not the same their visits became less. Sharon was returned to school in September of that same year. She returned in a wheelchair as she was not quite walking yet. And, of course she had to have someone willing to push her to classes. We did not realize that she wasn't really ready to go back to school at this time. We were in a hurry to get her going again and I think we pushed her a little too fast. That fall she began to have small brain seizures which affected her emotionally. Her behavior became very inappropriate. Jim & I both felt that this time during her recovery was worse than the initial first weeks. We actually didn't know what was happening to her. She did and said crazy things and the more we tried to reason with her the worse it got. Finally, we took her back to the hospital and she was examined by a psychiatrist and his diagnoses was "small brain seizures". These were affecting her behavior. He put her on a diuretic and within a few weeks her behavior turned around for the better. She went through a lot of depression but finally things began to stabilize. After trying a number of schooling options she was finally returned to Glen Burnie High School for her senior year. She walked down the aisle and received her diploma on stage! She was a year or 2 behind, but she made the grade. Sharon continued to make progress both emotionally and socially. She had a number of jobs during the ensuing years and actually learned to ride the public transportation system down to Baltimore to some training she was receiving. I actually followed the bus to make sure that she got off and on at the right spot. It was harrowing to say the least. One time a bus driver asked me why I was biting my lip? How could he tell I was stressed? Sharon's life has not been an easy one to say the least. But through it all she has exhibited much grace and strength in the Lord. She has a powerful will that keeps moving her forward. She doesn't look back and bemoan her fate. She does not feel sorry for herself which is a great attribute. She loves people and she thinks the best of others. She doesn't take into account a wrong suffered and doesn't hold a grudge. Did all this come about as a result of the accident? I'm not sure but I think that is just the way God made her. There is more to the story and hopefully next posting will bring us up to date on where she is now and what life has been for her since 1980.

Continuation of Saga

Sharon remained in a coma for about 6 weeks. She was moved from phase one about 10 days after the accident to phase 2. There was absolutely no deliberate response from Sharon to any of our conversation or probing questions. Her eyes were open and she just stared blankly. She never followed any of our movements around the room. Hospital personnel removed the intubation and inserted a trach into her neck. The nurse would come in frequently to suction and it was disturbing to all when they did this. As time went by Sharon continued to fight for her life. Every visit we made we did the best we could to stimulate her to respond. We brought her favorite music (John Denver tapes; Country Home) to play for her and Jim would read scripture to her and explain that God was there and to not be afraid. He took the 23rd. Psalm and explained to Sharon that God was causing her to rest in green pastures. The definition of being in a coma per the hospital was that the patient didn't respond to verbal commands. So far, this was Sharon's condition. After another week or so they moved her to stage 3. This time she was in a room with another patient. I was pretty shocked when I walked into the room that evening after they had moved her to discover that her roomate was a gentleman who was in a sledding accident. Evidently, this was not an issue with the hospital as both Sharon & this man had been severely injured. Charlie Burhman was quite a character. He had facial nerve damage. Jim being the outgoing person that he is went over to his bed to introduce himself. Charlie was propped up with his eyes closed. Jim didn't know what his condition was so he just said hello, I'm Sharon's father, "Charlie lifted his left hand to his forhead and with 2 fingers pulled up his eyelids and then extending his right hand said "glad to meet you, I'm Charlie Burhman". It was in this room that the nurses began sitting Sharon up in a chair. It was like an adult high chair. They would put blocks and rings on the tray to stimulate her mind to respond to verbal commands. So far nothing! One evening while we were there, Charlie had a birthday and birthday cake was being passed around. I had a piece of his cake with yummy icing. As I was sitting next to Sharon getting ready to eat my cake, all of the sudden Sharon reached over and grabbed my cake and started to eat it. I cannot begin to tell you what a thrill that was! I yelled for the nurses to come quickly! They were obviously overjoyed and began the process of removing her trach. It was in this third phase of shock trauma that Sharon slowing began to emerge out of the coma. It was 6 weeks after the accident that the hospital announced that she was being moved to the Walter P. Carter rehabilitation center across the street. Each new change in Sharon's care brought new anxieties to my heart. Questions about the quality of her care constantly plagued me. Sharon was no longer in an acute situation and didn't need the kind of care she had been receiving in Shock Trauma. She needed round the clock nursing care and at the center she began to be integrated into a more normal social experience. It wasn't the most inviting environment to be in but it was where she needed to be at that time. Sharon had a private room and outside this room there was a hallway and across the hallway there was a large room where they would take her for PT, OT and to spend time outside her room. This place unnerved me to some extent as there were all kinds of people there from a toddler who was standing in water in the basement in her house and experienced a severe electrical shock that had caused her brain damage to a young man who was blind and retarded. There were others there but these were the 2 that stand out in my mind. It was there at the WPC center that Sharon began to improve. (to be continued)